Defining confidence can be tricky. What it means to one person won’t necessarily be the same thing to another. But we’ve narrowed it down to this:
(True) Confidence comes from keeping the promises you make to yourself.
Let’s dive into this a bit more…
You know the feeling you get when you say you’re going to wake up at 6:30 AM to workout, and you actually do it? Then you spend the rest of your day on what feels like a natural high? That’s true confidence.
When you write down a financial goal for the month and hit it? Confidence.
Showing up on that zoom call you were nervous about? Confidence. (We know you thought about canceling…)
“Finding self-confidence comes from setting goals that scare you and finding the courage to follow through with them.”
But unfortunately, confidence has gotten a little misconstrued, so let’s clear the air. We’ve broken it down into two types of confidence…
False Confidence vs Genuine Confidence: What’s the difference?
False Confidence is…
Putting others down in order to make yourself feel better (something we definitely don’t have time for).
Inability to accept responsibility for your actions/blaming others.
Constant complaining about the state of your life, yet no action taken to change.
Do “good” with the expectation of getting something in return.
Victim mentality.
Comparison/Viewing everyone as your competition.
Genuine Confidence is…
Accepting 100% responsibility for your life and actions.
Understanding that discipline is the ultimate form of self-respect.
Having the intention to serve others without expecting anything in return.
Learning from mistakes and moving on.
Growth mentality.
Collaboration.
5 Ways to Build Genuine Self-Confidence:
Start Small: In our last blog post we touched on how to create and retain healthy habits (read the full blog here) and how important it is to set realistic goals for yourself. Take an honest look at your current situation and ask yourself, “Are my goals realistic for the timeframe I’ve set for myself?” We recommend starting small: ( i.e 2-5 minutes of meditation per day, once this becomes consistent you’ll gain the confidence to gradually move up to 5-10 minutes, so on and so forth)
Our Recommendation: Digital Vision Board
Acting ‘As If’: It’s going to take a long time to reach your goals if you wait until you’re confident to reach them. You know the old saying “fake it till you make it”? Well, this is essentially what we’re telling you to do. If you start acting as if you booked out your business, received that promotion you’ve always wanted, hit 6 figures, you're going to hit it a lot sooner than you think. As Tony Robbins says, “Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.”
Our Recommendation: Confidence Character Walking Meditation
Audit Your Self-Talk: How you talk to yourself matters. Period. Picture this: You’re laying in a field and when you look at the clouds that are passing, you notice they’re your thoughts. What do these “clouds” say? Without judgment write these down, and notice if they’re mostly negative or positive. We bet they sound something like “I’ll never reach my goals” or “They’ve had it so much easier than me, that’s why they’re successful and I’m not” — our words create our emotions, and our emotions create our world. Be careful what you say, you may just speak it into existence.
Our Recommendation: Acceptance Affirmations
Work Out: You may roll your eyes at this one, but hold up. We don’t mean working out to look a certain way, we mean working out to feel a certain way. It’s scientifically proven that working out boosts our endorphins (the feel-good neurotransmitters) when we feel good, we’re happy. When we’re happy, we’re pleasant to be around. When we’re pleasant, we spread positivity and happiness. It doesn’t take much to make this shift, which is why we’ve designed every single workout, meditation, and workshop on our app to be 20 minutes or less.
Our Recommendation: Pilates Arms
Start a Morning Routine: We know, broken record. We have an entire blog post dedicated to starting a morning routine, here. (We recommend reading it!) True confidence comes from keeping promises to yourself and following through with them. A morning routine is a perfect way to practice keeping promises. By starting the morning with intentional self-care and giving yourself love, you’re setting the tone for the entire day ahead! Even if it looks like taking 15 extra minutes to journal (yes that means you need to get up 15 minutes earlier) or 10 minutes for an intentional face wash.
Here’s a quick 5 minute morning routine you can implement daily, and watch how your life changes.
Wake up (don’t look at phone)
Send gratitude to the universe that you slept in a bed and had a roof over your head
Drink 1 glass of water
Look in the mirror and say “I love and accept myself exactly how I am”
Repeat daily
Our Recommendation: Create & Retain Healthy Habits and download the free habit workbook available here.
At Cacti we’ve dedicated our brand to helping women just like you build true, genuine confidence.
It all starts from within (even if you’re tired of hearing it) You were put on this earth to do something special. The moment you start to believe that, so will the world.
Join the Cacti community on Instagram to find like-minded women who are also going through this journey.
As always,
The Cacti Team